Comedy ZONE

ATTENTION ATTENTION PLEASE!!!!

Good EVENING Ladies and Gentlemen. This is your captain J. B. NCHIMBI Jr. On behalf of Air Tanzania Ltd, I’m welcoming both seated and standing passengers on board of Air Tanzania Boeing 767...

We apologize for the six-hour delay in taking off, it was due to bad weather and some bad traffics from Tegeta my home place to the Airport.... Dala Dala’s are all full in the morning hours and traffic is not moving at all!!!

This is flight 712 From Dar es Salaam to Mwanza. Landing there is not guaranteed, but we will end up somewhere in the Lake Zone if not in the Lake itself!!! And, if luck is in our favor, we may even be landing on your villages!!!

Air Tanzania has an excellent safety-record. In fact, our safety standards are so high, that even pick-pockets, snatchers, bandits and all other types of thieves are afraid to fly with us!!!!

It is with pleasure; I announce that, starting this year,over 20% of our passengers have reached their destination...

If our engines are too noisy for you when on air, on passenger's request, we can arrange to turn them off!!!

To make your free fall to earth pleasant and memorable, we serve complimentary KONYAGI and Our favorite local brew MNAZI, you can also get GONGO if you promise not to drink more than half a bucket...

For our not-so-religious passengers, we are the only airline who can help you find out if there really is a God!!!

We regret to inform you, that today's in-flight movie will not be shown as we could not record it from the TBC1 due to UEFA Champions League live broadcasting. However, we have bought 10 copies of KIU Magazines and 12 copies of IJUMAA Magazines on which you will be SHARING to supplement the movie...

There is no smoking allowed in this airplane. Any smoke U see in the cabin, you may start PRAYING to your GODS as it might be the early warning system on the engines telling us the plane is GOING to CRASH or else if its your lucky dat it might be our AIR-HOSTESS making some UGALI for ME as she normally use FIREWOODS...

In order to catch important landmarks, we try to fly as close as possible for the best view. If however, we go a little too close, do let us know. Our enthusiastic co-pilot sometimes flies right through the landmarks!!!

Kindly be seated, keep your seat in an upright position for take-off and fasten your seat belt. For those of you who can't find a seat-belt, kindly fasten your own belt to the arm of your seat. And, for those of you who can't find a seat, do not hesitate to get in touch with a AIR-HOSTESS who will explain how to fasten yourself on the overhead lockers.

"Thanking you all for choosing Air-Tanzania to fly for the first and probably might be your last time."

Thanks & Best Regard,

Captain Nchimbi Jr.

Any Time Change (ATC)!!!!

N.B: For those who might not reach SAFE, you may PEACEFULLY REST IN PEACE!!!